burn out~

Let see do have have all the symptoms of  'burn out'

1. Exhausted although have enough hours of sleep ( sometimes )
2. There are free time, but find no relaxation and calmness. ( checked)
3. Have almost everything, but do not have the time to enjoy them ( nope)
4. Unsociable and not warm or approachable towards others ( sometimes)
5. Clumsiness and hastiness while working ( Sometimes)
6. Unable to control emotions ( Sometimes)
7. Unable to overcome stress ( not yet)
8. Isolation and desire to be alone ( most of the time)

So, i guess i have 6 out of 9 symptoms of 'burn out', I AM BURNING OUT.....
everything is burning out, but my love for him still remains though, somehow i am pretty sure his for me has already long burn out... i wish there is someone who would tell me and guide me and change the settings in my head, reprogramme my brain and balance my hormones to control what i am doing and what i should be doing...

" The flames seemed to be blown off one by one, because of work and distance, looks like the wind will only blow off the flames and not turning them into a huge fire"

Hope

People told me we will never be together in the near future coz he is not ready to commit and i am a burden.

People told me to move on and let it be natural, if he wants me he will come back to me.

People told me to go fght for this love, at least tell him how i felt.

People told me to confront him and talk to him, if this relationship is really very important.

Every cell in me is regretting for not telling you how much i wanted this to work out and how much i wanted you. I lied when i said i don't need you. I lied when i say i want to hear you telling me that you don't me anymore, i lied when i say i have let go... I want to save this relationship, i hope it is not to late.I hope you'll give us a chance to work things out. Let me be selfish for once, let me work things out to get the regrets out  of my chest. It makes my heart heavy...I may move on by doing what is right now, concentrating on what i need to do but i can;t deny that i cannot let go of you just yet. I am living with regrets everyday. Please make my hope come true.

"hope that is all left in me, i have hope on you, me and us, we can make it happen, trust me"

LOVE

I knew this time for real i was in love...
And  i knew i did choose the right person, although we didnt last, at least he proves me right about him.
He may not love me anymore, but noone can stop my heart from loving him...
i jsut want to be there to support and care for him, so that he will never feel lonely...
We are not lovers, it is ok..but he allows me to make myself feel better.

" When the time is right,the path would be clear and the mind would be clearer, God will always give me someone better, perhaps a better him for me, and a better me for him"

Imperfections

Yesterday when i saw you, i felt there was no turning back,
But today when you are gone,i felt i should pacth things up,
Humans, so imperfect and indesicive,
I am imperfect and so are you,
But will you be my prefect imperfection once again?

 " Should I wait and hold on, secretly loving you"

thank you for listening to my voice

Thank you for the break up, i think you and i needed it....
it is hard to let go
but u haev show your signs
u dont need me
and that being me i will stillc are for you.
thank you for listenning to me
thank you for talking to me
thank you for making a littel chnage to my life
You were never a mistake for me...
thank you for loving me....

"Even if there is no turnng back, you will always be in me, irreplaceable, i miss you"

wrong

Something somewhere is wrong, very wrong....i am trying to figure it out.
I like my supervisor. She makes me feel the need to be positive once again and she listens to my ramblings although i am not too sure if i could tell her all the frustrations but since she asked, i let out everything from my chest. From the frustrations i kept for my tutor to another felo of a programme. My threshold is lowered...very low indeed. I need something that can make me feel awe and fulfilling all over again...i jsut need it...i am still empty.....

" See the things in a bigger picture positively, at the end of the day, we look back and we start laughing at our own silly mistakes"

EMPTY

I feel stressed...very stressed up
and i am getting hot tempered
and i wish you are here
and bring me happiness once again
i feel empty
empty soul......

"I know i still miss you, please say you will make me happy once again"