Look at these pure white roses, so flawlessly white and clean,with each petals attached strongly to one another, but if looked closely, perhaps pick them, those thorns they have, piercing through your skin into the flesh of your fingers, so deep as you exert more pressure, trying to get hold of them. And yes, this is what love is. Love is pure, clean, flawless; yet painful as you fall deeper and hurts more when trying to get hold of it. I am sure some say the pain is worth it, I could not agree more, but if it was all one sided, or with hypocrites, man who doesn't walk his talk, and man who could only speak aloud and toyed feelings, I felt terrible, like a dagger push right into the left side of my chest, gets deeper with every word.All I see is the later scenario that is dominating, where is the love?
What happened to the person I once knew, we once knew? We once love? Their changes of heart may have send us to deep misery like living hell each day, but they are still good people and the other changes might be positive.Without them we won't know how strong we actually are.However at this moment, I have no intention to know if his changes were of good or bad,all I want is to make myself believe that I do not know him, and he is just another stranger sharing the same air as I breath, nothing more but a common man on earth. People might see this as mean, childish and perhaps not having the bigger heart to forgive, I have my rights to feel what I am feeling and every reasons to feel so.I have forgiven but forget is always hard, when sweet memories become memories of sorrow and deep love becomes a big disappointment. It is impossible to forget how he made me feel.I do not seek for peoples permission to ignore such man on earth, but do not judge me based on my actions.
You may think that I am still holding on to the past, you may think I have not move on. Let me tell you, I have move on and let go, even if I felt something in my heart when I saw his face, I talked about him and what he had done to me, I still said he is a good man, I have image of him at places we have been together and I may have gotten sentimental for a few seconds because of him ;I HAVE MOVED ON. There are somethings I don't like, but I have to live with them, so I will treasure them.As how I treasure the memories with him and put them and him behind me as my past and take it boldly as an enriching life experience.
"Sophocles, the poet, was once asked, “How do you feel about love, Sophocles? Are you still capable of it?” to which he replied, “Hush! if you please: to my great delight I have escaped from it, and feel as if I had escaped from a frantic and savage master.”
Indeed, I will echo the words of Sophocles, one fine day." ( credits to wengkiandthe brain)
I really hope good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.Love either lifts you or breaks you. Indeed you do not permission to do the things that you feel was relevant nor to be judged for what you have done.THIS IS YOUR LIFE and you have every right to it. You have my support.
ReplyDeleteI wish i could say more dear.goodnite and have a good sleep. it will be a new day tmr.
loves much, june. <3
no worries juney, good things are falling in together one by one, I believe in it =) just that there are so many upsetting stories i heard about love lately and what I have feel that triggered this post. I have moved on, and I accept the things I cannot change. Like I said, it has been an enriching experience. and you have a great rest and try to enjoy the trip tomorrow..love you lots and thanks for having my back <3
ReplyDeleteHey, it was a beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't said I understand how you feel entirely but the pain is something that I believe I could identify with it to a certain extend. You definitely have every right to feel angry, unhappy and even talk about it as much as you want.
Moving on is a process that takes time and I believe you have move on. It is just that the emotions and feelings are still there at a certain extend.
I feel for you and at times, I hope there is more I could do but I guess this is life and all I could say is that I'll be there for you if you ever need a friend.
Love might be manipulative, deceiving and at times cause pain in our lives but it is love that strengthen us, lift us up and give us a reason for another day.
With love, KianHin...
Hey kian hin,
ReplyDeletethis post was written to remind myself to continue moving forward and not look back and also triggered by many stories, shocking stories heard from people around me.thanks for reading =)
Thanks for being there for me all the time and I do felt the guilt of ending a great friendship and at times might bring uneasiness to my friends who know him, i just hope they will understand why I have to do so and I do not encourage them to do what I did.
And definitely,you have always been there for me..at least to show me that love still exist in the world with what you are holding on to =) Love: another paradox of life..