This semester break has been a pretty eventful one.Many stories heard, many stories shared. A lot was asked to keep to myself, so you folks out there can guess what kind of stories there were. Hearing too much is not a good thing after all, because to me when the news is something not meant to be shared with others even if it is bothering you, it is something not worth knowing I guess. It seems so hard to keep being neutral, not to be over judgmental, not to judge in the first place and at the same time the information inside the head creates doubts in you. I personally felt that I have heard a little too much this holiday, and I annoyed by certain facts given to another whom I barely know well, but this person seems to have known pretty much about me and my love life. He can tell me what happened chronologically and what was my Ex like. It only gets more disheartening and disappointing to me when I heard more about him. I am glad that I am of the hook and of the relationship, but somehow, the person he has become...I am reluctant to continue as I am having doubts myself with my source.All that is left in me for him is hope that he will be guided to the right path doing the right thing. I know many may argue on doing the right things as it is so subjective, but when it comes to keeping your conscience clean by not harming, playing fair and not manipulative to reach our goal, I guess we are on the right track.
T.R.U.S.T and T.R.U.T.H
5 letters, simple word, yet hard to gain.
I find it hard to trust. Because the trust I placed on certain people, the ones whom I think is the closest to me has been violated. The stories,information and so called the truth which I heard makes it harder for me to trust again. And truth? Is there really the truth in everything. Everyone around me seems to be hiding something or there is a hidden agenda somewhere. Even me, myself is guilty of that. I understand that everyone has a baggage and personal secrets it is natural. However, when your actions betrayed you, your words contradicts and people look right through you,your secrets are exposed and instantly the trust on you fades a little each time.
How do I trust if I am not sure if you are telling the truth? How am I to trust in another when my private messages and complaints were shared with another person? How do i trust again when just a few moments ago I asked someone to not tell anyone but the next moment whatever I say was blurted out in front of me? However small the matter is, the trust is still violated and I am sorry to say I find it difficult to trust a certain people who were ones closest to me and I care most. To prevent damage to myself, I will be wiser when I choose what to share.
Trust will always be an issue deep down inside us, at the end of the day we got to trust our guts and instincts while the rest and ourselves try to prove we are trustworthy....
hello hun
ReplyDeleteas quoted by yourself: sometimes in silence there are answers. I guess we really need our alone moments, where we can spent time to be closer to ourselves. I am sorry that you had to learn the meaning of trust the hard way. perhaps a little too hard, what more when the past keeps coming back to haunt you. but like what you told me, its a part of the growing process. you discover parts of yourself that you have yet to find out. ;)
i learn the meaning of patience and virtue from you and compassion. i will rmb these important elements.
Learning is nver an easy process. like change, learning is an ongoing process.
cheers to becoming a better person wholly,
for you and also for me ;) <3
here's to us growing up too!
hey june,
ReplyDeleteyeap..it is true that in silence there are answers, I am learning everyday at all times =) but trust has always been an issue. It does freak me out.Guess it makes it harder to trust in a relationship.haha..but yes, cheers to the growing up process..=) at least i know i still have u and a few others whom I can trust..=)