Another transition?

Am I not fitting in anymore?

Am I not flexible to mix with my peers anymore?

Do I look like I am taking too much on the serious issues?

Lately, I cannot seem to have a serious discussion to the issues which are happening around us. Every word I say seem to be me going against the politics or I am disregard as being a fighter to fight for my points. All I do is to to lay out my points and have a fair share of discussion and sharing point of views. Is it wrong? I am not sure, perhaps my mannerism is wrong. I like to have intellectual conversations and discussion and sharing of information on the issues which are happening around us.Don't get me wrong, many things are intellectual to me even emotional issues and relationship/ social issues can be intellectual. Just that too much of the same joke can be a little too much for me to handle. You may ask " why so serious?" I am not that serious all the time, I can laugh and have fun. But when I take certain issues seriously and open up to further discussions and just mainly to share point of views and it is either you take it or leave it, you do not shut me up in a way that I will make me piss of with you. I believe in the freedom of speech and if you do not want to talk anymore or listen you can voice it out. I will accept it. But if you were to tell me what I should say and what I should not, I am sorry, that is up to me to decide. I am upset that people are afraid to speak up and voice out their opinion on certain issues they felt strongly about. 

Just the other day, a friend of mine spoke up Malays today are getting more intellectual, and a friends shared that those who joined the debate team in the university are more liberal and intellectual in their thinking.And I do agreed with it and voiced out that there will be changes in this country for the better, Malays are getting more liberal in their thinking and they are intellectual. Just a behind us were 3 policemen sitting and having their break.  A friend of mine look at me and said becareful with what you are talking, there are 3 malay policemen behind us. I was taken aback by what he said. And I told him, look this is the freedom of speech and I believe in United Nations Declaration of Human Rights, Article 19 ( if i am not mistaken) and all he answered : not everything needs to be said aloud. I agree to what he is trying to being forth but all I do is agreeing the point that Malays are indeed intellectual and getting more liberal, I don't see this as something that can piss anyone.Perhaps I am being a little too sensitive with the whole issue but then I was annoyed. When it comes to issue which stereotype people, eg China people are crazy. I cannot accept that generalization based on a few issue which are blown up by the media.Hence, I for sure will voice out that it is  not right to generalize one person's fault to everyone. I guess not many people can take the way I put my point forward, or I guess I am a little to aggressive ( self-reflecting). It does piss me off at that moment when I was asked to continue talking somewhere else knowing very well that there is noone to talk to at the moment. I am not sure if I manage to portray the whole scenario which pissed me off that day but me being called stubborn and telling me that they have the rights to sleep and so on, indeed add on to my anger. I suppose my patience level was lowered due to PMS and got extra sensitive that day but it did changed a little something in me.I digressed.

My point is I will stop talking to you the moment you show that you are not interested in the issue I would like to discuss. But the moment you  used words I used and issues which I take seriously as a laughing matter to shut me off  or it happens that  I see it that way even if you don't mean to. It will be the end of any discussion of this sort.You may judge me as someone dominant and always wanna win with my points, the truth is I will not take anything during the discussion personal until you tell me what I should say and do and it will get personal and this only apply to certain issues.In general, I am someone who doesn't read much and it pisses me of when sometimes I just asked a certain issue, people jumped into the conclusion on who I am siding when all I wanted was to know about that issue.I am taking this as a transition from teenage conversation topics to more adult like discussions.That again doesn't mean I no longer fool around and joke around, I do and still like doing so. But just a little of the time I prefer to talk on something a little serious.I do apologies to the certain people on my behaviour the other day, i do admit that I do over-react at times. I am coping with the change and constantly self reflecting to change my ways. At the same time, taking everything as a whole new experience in life.