I think i am losing touch and understanding of how to be a good friend or what is a good friend really like. I labelled my friends like what everyone else does, close friends, good friends, acquittance and just friends, brothers and sisters. Right now, at this moment, i think those labels are just a bunch of rubbish names and categories. I do not really remember what are the criteria of such category. People whom you have known all your life and you expect them to be there for you when you needed them are suppose to be best friend, and people who are close to your and you just fit in the group are your close friend or people who are kind and helpful to you when you needed help are good friends? I really do not know, as far as I know, right now, those people whom I thought I could fit in, whom I thought will include me, who will listen to me, all my issues and just be there, and who actually care to pull be back when I say I am ok and I can handle it, and tell me I am not.I have lost such friends. Luckily not all of them are gone, there are still a few left in my life, but I know I have my very best friend whom I trusted and I knew those hands would hold me when I fall, It is gone. I have close friends who tells me that he/she wants me to lose and be humble, I have best friend and superly close friend who tells me sorry for cutting me out and not being a god friend to me, and I got a close friend who says she will try to be a better friend and sorry to disappoint me. I have best friends whom, I don't think I can fit in anymore right now. A group of friends we call a gang, whom I do not feel like I want to be part of it. I thank God that I am blessed with some who really sincerely are there for me. But at this moment..friends are a little over rated for me.

" How many people have friends who said that they have not been a good friend to you and try to be better friend like it is a job? I certainly have friends like that!"