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I had a very weird dream today and I think it is trying to answer my subconscious mind.I dreamt about Mr. Ex. Yes I dream about him again.

This time with many other people around me on a beautiful beach. I had my old friends and my new friends and a group of Sabahan friends. My old friends were his friends as well. I was avoiding any contact with him although we were at the same place. I walked away, trapped among the rocks. I was trying to climb. And a guy friends of mine helped me up while Mr. Ex and my old friends stood there watching. I successfully got through the rocks.

( reality : It was a challenge and uphill steep slope when Mr Ex left me, my old friends stood there watching me getting over the challenge unable to help me, but I draw strength from my new friends, they pushed me up, taking the role of Mr Ex. pushing me up the slope, supporting me among the rocks. I realise there is someone there all the time ready to take on Mr. Ex role in my life, although not the same person at all times, but there are people..)

Then my concern friends who are my coursemates, zi yin and ya qin appeared in the dream with another group of their own friends at the same beach. They saw Mr Ex and automatically asked me to return to my room as they will cheer me up and join me later.But I refused, hence I joined the other group of friends, my new Sabahan friends, who amazes me with their singing. They too kept Mr Ex away from me when he asked if we could ever be friends again.

(Reality : I have new friends who are protecting me from my past, advising me to get rid of them and support me. And I know subconsciously, I am waiting for Mr Ex to ask if we could ever be close friends again, but he never did. I guess it was never his intention to do so.)

Well, I walked away and met with another group of friends and the one I remember most was Bao, a random medic student from my uni. This time Mr. Ex followed and I said " you already have heng wah or whatever her name is why are you bothering me.He insisted on telling me how he met his new girlfriends, and with all my strength I was reluctant to hear as I know it would have ache my heart. So I whacked him hard, trying to make his stop and uttered something like this " she is a damsel i distress and you are the hero that saves her" and he would not stop making me listen to what he had to say. He explained that initially he didn't like her, but now it was to far to stop liking her, he loved her. And I was running away from listening to this. And he pulled me, and i told the rest out there " hey, he is my ex who dumped me". Surprisingly, Bao and a few others were getting protective over me. I could somehow notice in my dream.

Then I pulled him aside, with his hand around me and my hands around him like buddies and sat inside a car. I said , " so tell me what you want to tell me, you know I am still in love with you anyway, and I could not possibly tell you there when there are so many people" and he said " I really really love her" I asked " really? you really really loved her?" Mr Ex," yes, really really " flashing the most serene and joyful smile on his face and I asked " what about me ". He answered " not anymore, and you know what I should have know you last, so that after all the girls, you would have been my last" and I just said " you really loved her" and I woke up with the last image of his happiest smile on his face.

( Reality : I guess caused one of my friend decide to stalk Mr Ex girlfriend and ask me if i mind, i begin to have this thought again. Subconsciously, I knew I was unable to let go so easily as I still love him and miss him. But i was reluctant to show it to anyone, hence the part in the dream where I dragged him of the group. All I wanted was a reason for me to let go easily, and I got it from this dream, his smile on his face and him saying how much he loved her, I woke up feeling a sense of relieve, he is really happy and suddenly it was the most important in the world. He is happy with her. I know I am jealous of that girl, but the main point is I am happy for them, this time, it feels like everything was cleared.On top of that, I realize, I am always blessed with people, my new found friends after the break up to protect me and my old friends not all of them course but some who would see me climb on my own knowing that I am stronger than that.Indirectly they gave me courage and support.There are people who will watch over me, even when I am lonely at times.I understood what love really is, I think I could say that for now)

Love is : You would give up everything, even if it means to let him go and be with someone else.

Love is : When there are friends around you, doing little things and lift up your day little by little.

Love is : When you are happily giving and forgiving.