SOMETHING UNCLEAR

Picture from tumbir

Sometimes I don't really know the difference, do I still miss you or I think I should miss you? Somehow, I listen to love songs and read blogs about missing someone, you will be the first that pop into my head. I don't really know is it because the blog authors share the same predicament as me, broke up and moving on, but yet at times still miss the feeling of being love, the memories shared, the smile, the kiss on the forehead, the shoulder which seemed to fit your head perfectly at the moment. I am not sure if I was brought back to the past, of missing you, influenced by the bloggers, who word my every feeling for the first 5 months and perhaps till today so perfectly and so true. Perhaps, it was just perception or dejavu back to the feelings I once felt. But as of this day, though I am not sure if you are the one I miss or the past, I can proudly say, there is no more heartache, sadness and sharp pain in my fragile heart. Is this enough to prove to myself that I have left my past? To me, at this moment I guess it is enough. 

Trigger of my emo-ness and missing Mr. Ex :

"I miss you. I miss your eyes. I miss the way you look at me. I miss the way you smile. I miss the way you can always make me laugh, laugh until my face hurts. I miss the way you look at the world and the things you say. I miss the way you hug me tight and rub my back. I miss the feeling of my head on your shoulder and I miss snuggling tight. I miss the way you sigh, and the sound of you heartbeat. I miss that tension when we sit next to each other, or when we stand close together. I miss the way you make my heart skip beats when you put your hand on my shoulder or brush against me. I miss those jumpers, those boots, those glasses. I miss your laugh and the sound of your voice. I miss how shy you are. I miss the way you never judge me and how you always understand. I miss the little things and the bigs things, but basically, I miss being near you."

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